Some men may not like their girlfriend, but dating expert says modern love is far from doomed

The viral post of “that phase when you start hating your girlfriend” has collected thousands of likes and support, but love expert says there are still men who value empowerment and safety.

By Nicole Garbanzos

Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash

On October 2nd, an online post discussed a relationship phase when men started to hate their girlfriends and instantly went viral. According to the account Luu (@sk1tguru), it’s an unfathomably slow burn. Since then, it has received thousands of likes and responses from other users agreeing with the sentiment. Sitting at 118 million views, replies to the statement have not been short of misogynistic undertones and manipulative language.

Reaching social media, hundreds of women have responded to the hateful post and have not held back. A few have said they’re not surprised, while others have advised using the post and its responses as red flags to look for when dating. Overall, women are disgusted, which has made some feel relieved about being single, leaving others concerned about whether to continue looking for further prospects.

Laura Caruso is a dating and relationship therapist who strives to guide clients toward healthier and happier connections. With her years of expertise, she’s helped to deconstruct lifelong patterns and deprogram unwanted relational behaviour. When asked about the trend, she says it is another example of “narcissistic and misogynistic tendencies” that consume modern dating culture. 

“The messaging communicated in these overtly misogynistic and narcissistic tweets remind others that women are objects that solely exist for male pleasure,” she says. “The men promoting the viral thread online act from a place of privilege.”

Caruso adds that the continued support of the post endorses toxicity and mistreatment in relationships. When asked about her concerns, she says that younger minds are at the most risk when widely exposed to oppressive content.  

“They have yet to experience the world around them as adults,” she says. “This ideology communicates to men and boys that it is okay to control women. It intentionally reinforces abusive power dynamics within modern relationships.”

But all hope isn’t lost, according to Caruso. She says that there are ways where women can learn to control their environment. She adds that consuming “extremist” content might not be helpful when single and looking for a relationship.  

“These disgruntled tendencies only reflect a subgroup of the male population,” she says. “There are so many men out there who prioritize empowerment and safety.”

When it comes to finding the right person, Caruso advises to look inward. She says landing your ideal relationship comes from your belief system and self-awareness—her advice to women who experience misogyny when dating is to disengage.  

“Go home, stop responding to texts, and move on with your life,” she adds. “Refresh your understanding of your ideal partner and let go of anyone who does not align with this vision.”